RELATIONSHIP REDOX #10: THE END

Do you only value something if you know it’ll end?

So what do you do with your significant other when it is over? Ponder the question before you pull out a piece of paper and answer this question.

What would a Black Swan do?

Would they sacrifice themselves and leave what is left for the person they are cutting out of their life?

Do you believe there is addition by subtraction?  Many people talk a big game but are they capable of writing a goodbye letter to a spouse who ruined your life?

I think Neil Young had it right when he said, ” “It’s better to burn out than to fade away.”

Sometimes we need to look past the chemistry and the butterflies to what is really going on at the base of it all. Who is the person you’re looking at in this moment? Do they match the idealized figure you’ve built up in your mind? What behaviors are confirming or denying that belief?

Will you end your relationship quickly or will you bleed it slowly?  Most people will go for the slow death of a relationship because they have little experience with death.  This is a grave error.

How many lost days are you willing to sacrifice before you give up?

For those who value time the answer will be different than the rest of you reading this.

Do you believe there’s a beginning in an end ? It’s true that you can’t reclaim what you had, but you can lock it up behind you. You can start fresh if you cut the head off the snake soon.

Are our relationship’s just a bunch of accidents, connected by one perfect end?

Does the end of your relationship  justifies the means. Might it be true that sometimes you have to do the wrong thing to get the right result?

Have you considered unusual mechanisms to solve your relationship dilemma?

How much do you know about discernment counseling?

Discernment counseling is not couples counseling. It doesn’t aim to fix any problems. Instead, in just a handful of sessions (both joint and individual), it helps couples on the verge of relationship breakdown understand why their problems have become so intractable, helping them trace the downward spiral and examine their patterns from a different perspective. In a sense, it’s an exit interview for a relationship, but one that leaves the door open to reconciliation.

And in an instant it all changed.

When I decided to get divorced I did discernment counseling before I signed my divorce papers………..I wanted to make sure my decision tree was plumb with my reasoning before I ended my relationship.

In this therapy I found out 50% of people who hire this type of therapist save their relationship before they transition into more traditional therapy. I found out many people who do this have even backed out of divorces. This peaked my interest. This why I did it. I did it on my own. I beleive many couples are unhappy for a long stretches, but many feel they can’t just leave. because they haven’t really done any work to address the problems in the relationship in any meaningful way.

Before my final exit I had to know I covered all my bases. So I jumped and did it.

When our partners aren’t right for us, they have a funny way of showing us that truth, but it takes a dose of radical honesty to see these warnings for what they are. To see these red flags for what they are and accept them, we have to start loving ourselves and setting boundaries both inside and out. Only when we learn how to love ourselves can we truly start loving others and receiving the love we deserve.When we love, we love deeply and that can often cause us to overlook critical red flags and warning signs that are best faced head-on and in the moment. Part of forming happy and lasting relationships is learning how to confront issues in those relationships as they happen, something that takes both time and understanding to carefully manage.

Most of the couples who sign on for discernment counseling are “mixed agenda,” meaning one is eager to walk (me), and the other wants to make things work (her).

I did it because I was sure I was done……..but I wanted exogenous validation that my feelings where solid before i dropped the hammer on my partner.

I suffered deeply from relationship ambivalence—this is the agonizing process of feeling uncertain about a romantic partner even while going through the daily motions of a relationship.

I think I had hoped I’d find an answer to why I felt why it was worth while staying, or maybe that I may conclude that I shouldn’t stay at all.

With either conclusion, the mark of successful discernment counseling is when a person can step outside themselves to view the relationship — and its dissolution — more objectively.  You have to remove your cognitive biases about the other person before you decide to stay or go.

Research suggests that couples struggle with relationship difficulties for an average of six years before seeking help. When you’re nursing a deepening hurt over that amount of time, it’s easy to become a bit solipsistic, favoring acts of self-preservation over generosity. It’s harder to see past old and recent wounds to adopt another perspective on the problem, even when doing so might provide a solution.

We confuse feelings with the stories we make up about those feelings.

My suggestion is to avoid couples counseling and try discernment counseling solo for yourself to figure things out for you before you call an attorney.

Discernment counseling made me feel like I did my homework, regardless of the outcome.  I felt that  this is the Black Swan thing to do before burning a relationship bridge down and trying to start over.

CITES

1. https://www.gottman.com/about/research/couples/

HAVE YOU EVER ASKED YOURSELF WHY IS EVERYONE INFERTILE TODAY?

Harmony makes small things grow. properly in nature…… Lack of it makes big things decay around and in us.  Factor Y is a term I use for the sixth extinction that has begun about 120 years ago.  The political left, in my opinion is using climate change narrative to hide the real fact that the electromgnetic force is behind the 6th extinction.  Why do I believe this?  C02 thermodynamically cannot act fast enough to explain the Permian extinction or the current one ongoing.  The electromagnetic force can.  It is the strongest of the 4 forces and it has unlimited range and power so this means it can cause quick changes that will often be hidden for a time because many of the effects will be non-linear in nature.  5G from above courtesy of Elon Musk is one such non-linear change.

Technology use and abuse cause the capricious cohabitation of the human’s mind. Nature’s harmony makes small things grow. Lack of it makes big things decay. Technology ruins biologic coherence and induces degeneration of the mind and a lapse into cancer as the US National Toxicology Program’s final release is warning us.

Human behavior is fascinating. We like to think of ourselves as intelligent, rational beings. But we regularly fail to recognize basic logical fallacies. Our hedonistic propensities propel us to accept correlation as causation when it appears to validate behaviors we like to engage in, like abusing light technology under the guise of “progress” and crafting the narrative the sun is toxic. It is pure insanity.

Give me some examples of a non-linear effects Jack.

A small stimulus leads to massive amplification = a non-linear effect

1. A nuclear weapon can be thought of as non-linear action. It is the size fo a small car yet it can level a city.

2. A star like the sun can be thought of the same way. It is relatively small yet it can warm 9 planets over billions of miles.

3. Small amounts of UV light from the sun can leach into the eye (1%-3%) yet they have the greatest effect on the RPE dense core granules to drive the central retinal pathway that connects to the SCN and leptin receptor to control the growth and metabolism of every human on Earth.

4. The change in networking power used on the internet went from 0G in 1995 to 5G today. That is only 23 years.  That small change in the electromagnetic force  is fully capable of leading living things to the sixth extinction level event on Earth.

Those are some examples of non-linear effects.

All epigenetic effects are also non-linear. Blue light and nnEMF cause HYPERMETHYLATION of DNA and RNA. <——- That is the major change agent of the epigenome and we saw how Scott Kelly went up into space for 340 days and sustained massive epignetic genome changes compared to his identical brother left on Earth.

I think the increase in network power is now speeding up Factor Y among us but I think few realize it because the sands of time appear to move slower when you are in the mid of the 6th extinction.  The evidence is all around us if your dopamine level is high enough to sense the trend.   That assumes of course youre capable of looking for it by deciding to look for evidence of it.

Human and animal infertility are now at unbelievable levels inside of cities.

What is the mitochondrial reality of this event?

Do we have any historical evidence for the mechanism and how it might be devloping ?  We do.

Smog affects oxygen tensions, and oxygen tensions affect the NAD+/NADH ratio’s in your mitochondria.  Some anniversaries pass with little notice. Herewith a reminder that 70 years ago people dropped dead from air pollution in the Monongahela Valley town of Donora. Unfortunately throughout India and China today, similar conditions can be found with levels of particulate sometimes averaging more than 1000 ppm.  This explains where China and India fertility rates are dropping rather dramatically in the 21st century.  Introducing and industrial and tech economy to an agrarian lifestyle built over the last 5000 years will have a non-linear effect on mitochondria.  Light and oxygen always have nonlinear effects in biology and this trips up most conventional thinkers in biology.  This is why we have historical anecdotes that matter a great deal to the Black Swan in training.

MITOCHONDRIAL OXYGEN

For example: Another interesting link between the air and life is found in the Andes of South America. When the Spanish came to conquered the Indians who lived up at their altitude and settled with them there were no Spanish couples able to have children there for 53 years. It was only when they began having intercourse with the native people that they were able to have children at these altitudes. The reason was simple In Spain has oxygen tensions at 21% but in the Andes where the Indians were at serious altitude the oxygen levels were only 12.5%. This decrease in consumption in th emitochondria means that more oxygen is dissolved in the cell and this fosters more free radicals that make DNA more unstable. The Indians offset this risk by altering their epigenomic marks with methyl groups and histone acetylation.

Generally at sealevel, where the Spainards came from, and most people are, you need oxygen to act as the terminal electron acceptor and not be dissolved in the cell. This supports conversion of pregnenolone to the sex steroid hormones and for leptin to allow fecundity.

This basic mitochondrial fact should wake up modern humans who have demolished their hormone panel and need fertility docs to have a kid. This is huge evidence you are a TECHNOLOGY abuser. Technology use induces pseudohypoxia and upregualtion of AMPk pathways and sets the tone for mitochondrial diseases by lowering the matrix redox power from NAD+/NADH to oxygen as the picture below shows.

This lowers the electrical power difference between the beginning and end of electron transport. Taking NAD+ or using HBO to increase oxygen cannot fix this situation either. If you do this you will INCREASE free radicals that will damage your colony of mitochondria further by destroying heme proteins in the cytochromes and this will reduce the water that cytochrome 4 can make. So vet your expert advice well before buying their solutions for your infertility problems. A repair of your technology diet is more wise than clomid is for your offspring. forcing nature to do something with bad mitochondria in your germline is not a wise move if you want to have a healthy kid.

So there is a deep link of air pollution to a lack of sun and lowered fertility……but air pollution also brings low oxygen tensions and the two phenomena involve different mechanisms both acting on different parts of the mitochondrial biologic programs. This is an interesting Black Swan lesson contained here about the Andes and native Europeans.

HOW DOES THIS WORK MECHANISTICALLY?

According to mitochondrial data, when the pH of water drops (acidic = more H+ or D), so does it’s ability to absorb oxygen.

Therefore, a life or germline without sun or ground should result in a dynamic state of hypoxia, assuming the above is true.

If the mitochondrial respiratory processes are compromised and water is not able to absorb oxygen effectively from the lungs, where does this excess oxygen go? It goes to the broken mitochondrial engines where free radicals are made by the cytochrome proteins. How do mitochondria make free radicals to signal? ELF-UV bio-photons and oxygen must be present. Is this why oxygen levels are quantized precisely with mitochondrial damage in cells? YES INDEED.

If the mitochondrial respiratory processes are compromised and water is not able to absorb oxygen effectively from the lungs, where does this excess oxygen go? It goes to the broken mitochondrial engines where free radicals are made by the cytochrome proteins. How do mitochondria make free radicals to signal? ELF-UV biophotons and oxygen must be present. Is this why oxygen levels are quantized precisely with mitochondrial damage in cells? YES INDEED. As biophotons are released from the cell and NAD+ drops at cytochrome one. Why? Freed vitamin A destroys the heme protein at this cytochrome. There is no catalase, another heme chromophore to control it. We call this the pseudohypoxia state that David Sinclair found in Dec 2013 study published in Cell on this very topic. Even he has not put it all together. When all these things occur heteroplasmy is rising and cell volumes rising and ubiquitin marking increasing how aging really occurs in a quantum fashion. So do aging old people have kids? No………this is why when this state happens in young people they are infertile.

Let us go further……..What does pseudohypoxia (low NAD+) mean to our hormone panel in the sex steroids region? The cost of a high aerobic capacity is low fertility. This is why the pregnenolone steal syndrome exists and why males suffer low testosterone and females have an upside down PG/E2 ratio in menopause. their mitochondria can no longer make water well at cytochrome 4 and this is why infertile and aging people have markers of dehydration on labs. It is not what the anti-aging or functional medicine docs think or believe. This is quantum biology 101 for a Black Swan.

This formula above goes hand and hand with what I said in the November 2018 webinar about the 5G risks humans all face. If you think taking NAD+ analogs are wise you clearly are no Black Swan.

Producing cortisol over sex steroid production is survival mode for the cell and it is due to the use of oxygen as the terminal electron acceptor in human mitochondria in a really bad light environment (blue or nnEMF). As this occurs in a women’s gut at menopause their lower esophageal sphincter (LES) allows more O2 into the gut lumen because its myoglobin (another heme photoreceptor protein) is destroyed by the freed Vitamin A and this simplifies the gut flora changing the microbiomes biophoton light release to the enterocytes. This alters its circadian biology and affect activation of the GALT and the liver. This allows too much deuterium into the liver = fatty liver.

The liver is where most catalase is located in humans. This raises more free radicals in the liver making its deuterium load greater and lowering hormone production further. Remember the liver controls the long loop of the Bazan effect.

This cause global reduction of DHA in cell membranes ruining circadian control in many organs. The mitochondria also make thyroid hormone, specifically T2. This lowers thyroid hormones T2 and T3 and women cannot absorb the sun’s light even if they are naked at the equator. Lack of catalase ( increasing H2O2) and lack of AM UV/IR light fuel this low fertility. Catalase is most commonly found in the liver of humans.

Artificial light, with a lack of sunlight makes fertility doctors rich and busy. It’s not our abilities that show what we truly are, it’s our choices of light we live under that determine our fate when it comes to fertility. This is why people are infertile in a blue-lit microwaved world.

CITES:

1. https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/10/31/italys-populist-government-plans-reward-fertile-families-state/?fbclid=IwAR2C7qzb3JzD4H-jk9-9pz2tqgBR98im5fWUx_YbJZoj3AOrjI0l-C48-yc

2. Elizabeth Kolbert: The Sixth Extinction.

3.   https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/deadly-donora-smog-1948-spurred-environmental-protection-have-we-forgotten-lesson-180970533

RELATIONSHIP REDOX #9: SAYING GOODBYE

How do you process death? Most people struggle with death but what happens when you see somebody you love dying before your eyes while they are still living? How do you approaching the living dead about the choices that brought them to this place in your life?

How do you process their choices that have imprisoned their thinking and their mindset?

The causes of death are many and varied. It might be due to a mood disorder or depression because of life of night shift work. That chronic depression might lead to a suicide attempt. The very same scenario might not ever get to suicide but it could lead to dementia after 20 years of decline. The mood disorder might be caused by indoor office work that eventually lead to obesity, diabetes, stroke, that eventually lead to heart disease and an early death. On the way to any of these diagnosis, your relationship with that person might be radically affected by their choices. If you love them, do you ignore their choices and let them do what they want as you suffer and watch them die?

How do you salvage a relationship with a friend or partner who is hell bent on continuing to make choices that will ultimately cost them time……time in their life.

In survivor training they teach us how to not die when you’re helping rescue a drowning person who is anxious and fighting to survive.  If we get this decision wrong, you both drown.  Is this a wise choice?  I think there is a way to help a friend or partner when they are in dying mode while they are actively living and breathing.

The mode of how they are dying is the key to understanding what your best choice might be.  I don’t believe there is any correct answer for any relationship on life support.

THE GOODBYE CHECKLIST

1. You’d be wise to enlist the help of your cicle of six when trying to help another

2. Write them a goodbye love letter

3. Look them in the eyes while handing them an appointment to see a doctor to get a term life insurance policy you as the beneficiary.

4. Ask the dying while living what you can do to help.

What happens if the continue to ignore you? Are you prepared to force them to see a life without you in it?

Can you walk away to teach them how much you really care?  In relationships, people often get complacent with time because they become imprisoned by comfort and luxury.  They begin to avoid the discomfort of thinking.  This is how “comfortable thinking” creates cognitive biases.  Sometimes those biases can harm you and lead to illness or death.

Have you ever cared so much that you were willing to create a perfect dismount scenario for your significant other?  Dying while your living comes with many contexts in life.  It is a very tough situation to navigate.  There is no one recipe for all.

You have to try to got others who pack your parachute help you navigate these rough seas.  These people often can help you help the dying person see their self worth to once again love themselves again.  Without this love they will never be capable of loving you or anyone else.  Don’t we have to try help others see the value of time?

Nothing is harder than seeing your best friend kill themselves while they are alive, in my opinion.

Are you prepared to follow them to their grave?  Are you prepared to dig yourself in deeper into redox hell for them?  Is their a time limit that you’ll impose on them?  Or will you continue to give them a pass for their choices?  How long will you give them this pass?  How many of your body parts are willing to sacrifice?

When you love someone there are a few key questions to consider.  Do you love them unconditionally?  Are you in love with them now after their choices have changed the relationship between both of you?

Do you believe you can love someone, yet let them go completely for their own good?  Do you accept that it might be regal to release a person you love or loved, when their end is near?  Isn’t it true that real love is like a boomerang; it should be expected to come back if it was true?   Cutting your love loose is a wicked game.  Would you gamble this big if it was your only option left?

People only focus on your wisdoms, until they see the depth of how much you care.  I believe you can love deeply, without being in love, because love does not operate like a light switch.  Once the switch is flipped off, it cannot be easily turned back on.

Would you still be willing to help as choices continue to be made that will extinguish their light?  What happens when you finally realize the choices of others are the hinges of destiny in our relationships?

The differences in the stumbling blocks in relationships and stepping stones is in how we use them.

Are you ready to make them see you are willing to do the hard things to make the blind see again?  Can your actions put windex on the glass eyes of the dying?

You cannot make progress without making decisions in relationships. I have found a peacefulness follows any decision, even the wrong one.  It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.  How do you value your life?  How do you value time?   When one bases his life on principle, 99 percent of your decisions are already made.  They are made by the choices we make.

How all in are you really?  for you or for them?

Are you waiting for someone to put flowers on your casket or are you willing to plant your own garden to decorate your life right now?

We don’t heal anyone’s past by dwindling there with them and allowing them to remain imprisoned there by old choices.   We can only fully heal them by teaching them to live fully in the present even it that present no longer includes them any longer.

As a surgeon I am addicted to helping and saving the person dying an acute death.  It is what I am trained to do.  As a man in a relationship on life support, I found out that saving someone I love, is a lot more like trying to save a person drowning in the sea.

You have to be careful of how you attempt to save them, because you might go down with them.  This serves neither person or your family.  This is why living fully, while being solo might be the toughest goodbye that contains the best long term Rx.

In realtionships, actions prove who you really are. Words are just who you pretend to be…………..