Month: September 2019

In 2019, the update to the title slide of this post has become the biggest change in my life because of mitohacks I have done on 5G over the last 2 years.  The updated picture for 2019 is contained above too.  For the reasons why the change occured you’ll have to wait until my talk in Poland at the Polish Health Summit is released to the public.

7 Signs of a Genuine kinship is found in My Wisdom of the Circle of Six

How do you really value yourself? To say you have no choice in life is to relieve yourself of responsibility.

It is one thing to lose people you love as your journey unfolds. It is another to lose yourself in the very same process. There is a greater loss of time in the world. Realize that shit is the real talk your life needs daily.

Focus on those that listen…ignore the rest. Some will come around…some won’t

If you want extraordinary results, you need to narrow your focus on the things that matter and eliminate the unnecessary.

1. They stick with you NO MATTER WHAT.

True friends stick with you no matter what. I hear stories about friends falling out with one another because one doesn’t like the other’s new boyfriend and other trivial things.

That doesn’t matter to true friends. They stick with you through thick and thin.

2. They accept you and they NEVER JUDGE YOU.

True friends, like true lovers, won’t try to change the person you are. If you want to change, they have your back, and they’re sure to let you know their opinions, but they accept you for who you are. No strings attached.  A great friend can tell you things yo cannot tell yourself.

3. They celebrate you in good times and bad.

They aren’t jealous of you. Instead, they celebrate you. Big promotion at work? A new relationship?  Party! Third date went well? How about a glass of wine to celebrate? Your true friends won’t feel resentment for what you have going on for you when your winning and thriving.

4. They reinvigorate you and spark you to thrive.

Some “friends” we walk away from feeling totally drained. They’re negative Nancy types. True friends leave you feeling energized and invigorated, not tired and sapped of your energy.  You need to cut energy vampires and those who cannot reason well.

5. They reach out to you and this is why you’ll have them pack your parachute

This is a key factor. A true friend isn’t a friend you’re constantly having to track down. True friends seek you out year after year without prompting to sample your current awesomeness. They make time in their busy lives to hang out with you.  Nothing remains idle in life and thrives. This is double true with friends in your circle of six.  Life needs a moving force to prevent the devastating effects of stagnancy. You should become this forceas the gatekeeper of your domain.  That is why all life employs change and adaptability.  This is why my circle of six gateway has a revolving door at the entrance.  No one should feel comfortable with you too long.  Your waves should hit them chronically to force adaptability and they should crave it.

6. They don’t speak talk trash.  They speak at you.

True friends don’t talk about you behind your back. They don’t cattily gossip and spread rumors.

If they have something to say to you, they say it to your face. They won’t talk about you to anyone in a way that they wouldn’t talk directly to you.

Do you want to be in your own story or on the outside writing about it? Everyone battles fear and uncertainty every day. However, the only failure in life is believing that your value relies on other people’s approval or resources. The reality is this: When you are living your authentic self and not how people want you to act, then you are free to use the full spectrum of your creativity and gifts. People don’t need resources to get out of any life situation. They need creativity to create resources. When you realize that, becoming stuck is impossible.

If they want to talk shit about you, let them.  Never let anyone rent space in your head by caring one bit about their opinion.  Once they trash talk you cut them from your life and make them feel what life is like without you in it.

7. They don’t get possessive, they want you to thrive.

If you’ve got new friends and lovers in your life, they don’t get possessive. They always give the space you need and are there when you want to do stuff.  They want you to dominate and create your happiness and celebrate with you as you break glass ceilings..

SUMMARY OF HOW FRIENDS MAKE OR BREAK US IN RECOVERY 

Your circle is your chemotherapy.  Toxic relationships are just like any other disease.  The longer you tolerate it the worse the patient does.

Fill the circle with people who add to your life and do not subtract from it.   Every precious thing that you want out of life starts from believing that you possess an unstoppable drive to continuously strive and thrive.  That idea begins with your circle of six.

Build your circle of six with these ideas in mind to change your life.  Friends are the family you choose and they impact your health in tremendous ways.  Do not undervalue this reality in your own life and recovery.  Your spouse should be your best friend.  If they are not you must reevaluate your own strategies.  

I revalue myself daily by the music and artwork I put in my environment. This helps me trim my circle of six and cuting and pasting who should be in this position of my life. Many times only two seats in the counsel are filled at a time. I often joke with the people in my circle that my tribe has a revolving door. You cannot be good at everything so those other 12 eyes are huge in helping you thrive. Make sure those eyes are connected to people who you’d let pack your parachute before you jump out of a plane if you could not do it.

Ask yourself this today, “How do you experience value in your life?”

An elitist scientists might say, “ Creativity that satisfies and affirms your world view is entertainment and does not set a floor to your self worth. Creativity that challenges and disrupts your world view is art and it helps us see our value.” But then the creative will say, How one thinks work must challenge you to be considered art. I find Dali’s works satisfying because of the curiousity they create in me. It helps me revalue my character and my worth. That doesn’t make his work ”not art.” A fascinating aspect of art is how subjective it is. It turns out how we value ourselves is also wholly sunjective. What may challenge you may stimulate or relax another. Value, like time is also relative to th environment we allow around us. What resonates with you may produce the opposite or no effect for another because no two environments are equivalent.

Write like no one is reading your words or your work. When you do this, your authentic self will manifest and come to the surface. Whatever it takes to find the real you, don’t be daunted if the rest of the world looks on in shock when they read your work. Your words can be your art and they can be used to set your value.

When you fight yourself to discover the real you as you write, there is only one winner, YOU.

Value is always long-term proposition in life. I urge you to be so good at what you do and the services you provide to people that no other metric a human can think up will matter. You have to be all in for people to get them to the next level. Never settle yourself, and never let them settle. Try to teach people to avoid always seeking happiness or success on the road to optimal. I teach people that we create our happiness and success with choices we make about our life.  Teach them to become people who seek results. Your goal as a leader is to become a person of value to your flock. Being valuable does not mean you need to be perfect in any sense.  It is wise to be a diamond in the rough with a flaw than a pebble without any.  

My circle only has mitochondriacs in it.  Those are people who are “diamond like”.  They are made of specks of carbon and dirt who just have learned how to handle stress and chaos extraordinarily well become lustrous with many facets who shine brightly in any light.  

Value is premium you place on yourself and others. Value others and you value yourself. Valuing this way is self-replicating and will grow within you and emit from you. When you truly value others they will radiate value as well. Today, forget the prices of things and cherish the value of people.

Others value your time exactly as you do. If you value it, so will other people.

If you don’t have a plan for your week before it begins, you’ve planned to fail.

Leaders who value their time always start with a plan for the week before it begins.

Always have a plan for your week before other people plan it for you.

Spend 80% of your time with people who give you 80% of your results and stand back and be amazed at what happens. I use the filter of social media to figure out who that 20% is and I CUT THEM FAST.  I do this to focus on who matters to see if they are circle of six material.

Regardless, if you haven’t decided ahead of time the kinds of people you’ll meet with, you’re sunk.

Sometimes we don’t choose our path or the people on it. The path and the people often choose us.

Your reaction to “these misfits” becomes the next big thing in your life.  This has been an eye opening lesson I have pursued with a passion since 3/13/2019.  Relentless chaos drives my passion now.  You’ll come to realize sometimes you need a little chaos to get your adrenaline flowing and help you realize your potential.

What happened to me on that March day?  It was the day I listened for the call of my destiny, and when it came to me, I decided to release those past plans back to the universe and follow my new uncharted passions.  Mastery is the breeding ground of fresh, creative passion. Our greatest responsibility is to live a life that nourishes our highest truth.

I realized that day I was not my past. I am the warrior that rose above it to become the example of someone who didn’t just want to survive, but chose to thrive in creating the most beautiful last chapter of my life.  I decided to go all in for me.  I realized I really don’t have to subscribe to the life that had been written for me.

When you believe in yourself, in your innate abilities, and you LOVE YOURSELF, you begin to do and to think for yourself and your preservation.  You know implicitly that anything is possible. The impossible even becomes easy. This internal drive is the fire in your gut cannot be extinguished by the people who suck the energy and reason from life. Become fully invested and commit to these beliefs and you will most assuredly meet with success no matter the odds you currently face.

I want to be driven, motivated, filled with passion, for good things, worthwhile things, things that will make a positive difference, and add value to the lives of others. Your passion can ignite many others’ pilot lights as well. When our candle is lit, sharing it does not diminish our flame one bit………..Go light someone up today. 

What happens when your spouse dies unexpectedly?  

The mitochondriac idea is to die young as late as possible, and not vice versa.

The loss of your best friend, lover, and spouse to death creates chaos for the person left behind, making it seem unfathomable to move forward alone.  The heart and soul can seem suspended while the physical body goes through a time continuum. It can be a struggle to find joy in life knowing things will never be the same again.  It is with this realization, that the functional duties of daily life and doing the necessary steps to move in a forward motion become like a remote activity.

All deaths appear sudden, no matter how gradual the dying may appear.  This is what surprises us when a partner dies.

Whoever said that loss gets easier with time was a liar. Here’s what really happens: The spaces between the times you miss them grow longer.  Sorrow and loss are constant, but if we all had to go through our whole lives carrying them the whole time, we wouldn’t be able to stand it. The sadness would paralyze us. So in the end we just pack it into bags and find somewhere to leave it.

It is the nights, however, that  allow the loneliness to seep into the surroundings and enhance the gravity of the baron world perceived by the one left behind.  Today’s technology can sometimes provide comfort but often prove too much for the heart to bear.  A saved voicemail message, pictures, and videos can be both a blessing and a curse. It is imperative to not let sadness take control and remember to just do the next thing… whether it is breathing, brushing your teeth, or taking the next step down the stairs.

When you give someone your heart and they die, did they take it with them? Will you spend the rest of forever with a hole inside you that couldn’t be filled?  Is that a proper use of time?

When you think about death in terms of time you realize you never want to be lost in time.  It is nothing to die, but when you understand time’s value, it becomes terrifying not to live fully once your lover dies.

Realize that everyone deals with death differently because people value time differently.

The important thing is to continue to move forward and eventually you will find the path to happiness again.  This defines Faith and provides solace.  It is what motivates us to move forward even when the odds are against us.  A relationship with God can provide strength and hope.  If we look closely and are in tune with our hearts, the angels among us provide signs that aide in our recovery.  We will often experience a message or entanglement sent to remind us that life for us must continue.  Hope is what keeps us moving forward.  It is the gift of grace that combats our most difficult struggles and allows us to appreciate our rewards at the end.  Love is the foundation for every good thing in our lives.  Without it, nothing else matters much.  Love is how we stay alive, even after our lover is gone.

Loss of a lover does not have to end painfully.  It is suspended until time allows for us to be reunited. Death ends a life, but it does not end the memories of the relationship.  This is the lesson of life and love without getting lost in time.

Losing a loved one is a painful reminder that life is way too short. Losing your lover is that painful reminder time waits for no one. It also reminds us that time is our most valuable asset. Few of us truly get that in real life until death truly touches us closely when our lover is struck down. We forget what they would have wanted for us if they were still alive and kicking. And that loved one would want nothing more than for you to be happy — not the watered-down, half smile, day-to-day getting by content happy, but truly happy.

I have heard people tell the surviving partner recently at the funeral, “Keep yourself busy.” I agree to point, but don’t keep yourself busy doing something that doesn’t make you happy. One can go to a job every single day to keep yourself busy, but it only will make you more miserable if you aren’t doing what you love. It doesn’t make the time go by faster — it made each day seem more and more meaningless. You must focus on your passion to move past this grief.

This is what death brings to many of us………….but not all of us. What we feel when we lose our love is unique to us.

To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure in living. Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings. Lovers however can and do die in natural ways.

This brings up another question. What happens when your lover is dead but forget to lay down in their coffin and is still breathing but not living?

 

Our guest writer for this blog is a member going through a rough 2019.  Her thoughts on relationships I think provides a unique perspective on how we must deal with people in our life who should be powerfully connected to us.

“I don’t believe that anyone ever goes into a relationship believing that they are settling. As time goes by however, an individual that is moving in a direction of growth and exploration, while the other person in the relationship stays stagnant means that eventually you will be faced with the decision to settle for less than you want and deserve in a relationship. Settling for an unhappy relationship because you’ve already invested a lot in it is like investing in a company that is doomed to fail. Loss is inevitable; it’s just a matter of whether you get out now and lose less or stay invested and risk an even greater loss.

it often happens slowly over time. The relationship develops microcracks inside the structure you can’t see. When it finally reaches a critical mass it eventually shatters. I found that there was an undercurrent of dissatisfaction- I’ve given up too much of myself for others. When I finally realized that it was time for me to focus on myself, and for my partner to do the same, I noticed that our interests were very different. I also noted that people go through physiological and biological “brain upgrades” at certain times in their lives. When you continue to educate yourself and your partner is not receptive to your interests or beliefs it can create chaos and distance. I also discovered that hormonal changes that arise with age can cause significant shifts in sex drive. While I was becoming more interested, his interest began to wane. I tried to talk about our sexual activity and changing needs as he looked on in utter disbelief and blew off my concerns. We allowed ourselves to become complacent. I termed it, we became comfortably numb, until I could no longer be comfortable in a relationship that became more and more distant. Differences in spending habits and financial constraints finally come to a head when he asked me about a charge on the credit card for $1.65!

I was working full time and had for thirty years, but had allowed him full control over our finances to the point that I did not even know the account passwords. After years of someone micromanaging how I spent money, I realized at this point that I had reached a new low. I had given complete control to someone that had abused my trust love, and friendship. I began to realize as I talked to other friends that you should be about protecting each other in harsh environments and have each other’s back… Gaining weight, exercising religiously without results suggested to him that I was asking for him to look at other women. He failed to realize that working nights, sleeping less than four – five hours during the day and working in a hospital under fluorescent lights had created an environment that made it difficult for me to exhibit change no matter how hard I tried. He suggested that wives that let themselves go are asking for their husbands to cheat. When I looked in the mirror, I began to believe that I may be the problem. I decided to make a decision to create some excitement in my own life. I wanted to excite him with pictures and texts, present him with activities to create new stories and reignite our passion. He was less than interested.

 

Here is the educational component for those that think they have the right to judge someone having to make this decision to settle or separate… I lived within an environment where my self-worth was judged by my spouse based on my weight, my dress size, and my actions around his friends in question until I could take it no longer. A friend who shall remain anonymous reminded me: No one has the right to judge me, not spouse, not family and certainly not other parents of my children’s friends. For you have not gone all in on your own life, or even perceive enough to know what that truly means. Therefore, your opinion of my choices is not worthy of acknowledging.

 

 

There is a special processing in my mind for people that want to judge. Only some of us are meant to survive. I take solace in knowing that nature will take care of their existence and my survival. Be ready, because I am loading my cannon with fireballs from the sun, and I am prepping my dinner table to feast on your ineptitude and insincerity… your ill intent, stupidity and crap can no longer affect me. I choose me, I will not look back and will not let others opinion of me affect where I am going.”